Jeremai Neiel
Jeremai Neiel is my second son. He is now 15. And living miles away from me.
After my divorce I had to face the decision of staying in Bolivia or coming back home. I stayed based on the fact that my children had a right to have contact with their dad. Even though it was a God guided decision, last november I hated that decision.
After years of having faced a typical woman´s drama of having to rear up my kids alone, we had a huge discussion and the result was that I had to come home...without my boys.
What a storm.
I was never the kind of mother that wants their boys by their side for ever. I had always told them "you are eagles, in time you will leave the nest to fly, you are meant to fly high!"
But I had thought they would be near me until they were 18. Jesua, my little one, was thirteen!
How could I leave them behind! Such crucial years! Such difficult times! How could I possibly leave them behind!
I prayed "God I know your will. I have the money and the passport...but if you don´t send an angel to take me by the hand, well, I just won´t be able to obey you." And God did. He sent me several angels. Friends, very close friends who stood by.
I didn´t tell everyone, people wouldn´t understand. The pressure was already huge. No need to make it worse. But God did allow for dear ones to walk by my side.
With no idea of what would follow I was given the grace to obey. Along with the command to leave God gave me the promise that through this my boys would find life.
Months of agony have followed. Jeremai seemed so distant. We did chat, and talked on the phone, but he was careful as to how much to say.
Everytime fear came near, God would hold my hand. Don´t fear little one, I am by their side.
Last night I spoke to Jeremai, and this is part of what he said:
"Mom, I am sorry for not having understood what you were complaining about. Don´t worry I am taking care of Jesua, he is changing a lot. He now helps me with the house chores. I am doing better in school, my grades have gone up. We don´t play out in the streets, we are mainly home- because I know that is what you would have asked for me to do. I was invited to a party, but I said no. my friends made fun of me, but I don´t want to go down the drain. Dad doesn´t take us to the movies anymore, because he now has to pay for the milk. Mom, I wanted you to know that my life hasn´t been easy but it hasn´t been bad. I now see things differently and I am glad."
Tears stream down my face as I write. God is so faithful! I am so thankful for the grace to obey! my son, he is back! Perhaps we are miles apart, but he is back!!!!
"Mom, I wanted you to know that my life hasn´t been easy but it hasn´t been bad. I now see things differently..."
"Son, you are now a man" I would add.
After my divorce I had to face the decision of staying in Bolivia or coming back home. I stayed based on the fact that my children had a right to have contact with their dad. Even though it was a God guided decision, last november I hated that decision.
After years of having faced a typical woman´s drama of having to rear up my kids alone, we had a huge discussion and the result was that I had to come home...without my boys.
What a storm.
I was never the kind of mother that wants their boys by their side for ever. I had always told them "you are eagles, in time you will leave the nest to fly, you are meant to fly high!"
But I had thought they would be near me until they were 18. Jesua, my little one, was thirteen!
How could I leave them behind! Such crucial years! Such difficult times! How could I possibly leave them behind!
I prayed "God I know your will. I have the money and the passport...but if you don´t send an angel to take me by the hand, well, I just won´t be able to obey you." And God did. He sent me several angels. Friends, very close friends who stood by.
I didn´t tell everyone, people wouldn´t understand. The pressure was already huge. No need to make it worse. But God did allow for dear ones to walk by my side.
With no idea of what would follow I was given the grace to obey. Along with the command to leave God gave me the promise that through this my boys would find life.
Months of agony have followed. Jeremai seemed so distant. We did chat, and talked on the phone, but he was careful as to how much to say.
Everytime fear came near, God would hold my hand. Don´t fear little one, I am by their side.
Last night I spoke to Jeremai, and this is part of what he said:
"Mom, I am sorry for not having understood what you were complaining about. Don´t worry I am taking care of Jesua, he is changing a lot. He now helps me with the house chores. I am doing better in school, my grades have gone up. We don´t play out in the streets, we are mainly home- because I know that is what you would have asked for me to do. I was invited to a party, but I said no. my friends made fun of me, but I don´t want to go down the drain. Dad doesn´t take us to the movies anymore, because he now has to pay for the milk. Mom, I wanted you to know that my life hasn´t been easy but it hasn´t been bad. I now see things differently and I am glad."
Tears stream down my face as I write. God is so faithful! I am so thankful for the grace to obey! my son, he is back! Perhaps we are miles apart, but he is back!!!!
"Mom, I wanted you to know that my life hasn´t been easy but it hasn´t been bad. I now see things differently..."
"Son, you are now a man" I would add.
posted by thisfool @ 2:26 AM
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