Indifference

I am glad I am not in Bolivia now.
I think I would have lost all, all, all.
Even now it is a real struggle to keep focused. To keep my eyes on THE plan. And to just breath deeply and believe that if I follow God's plan I will see justice done.

If I were in Bolivia where would I be?
In the hospitals? nope
In the streets feeding the kids? (there is no food in the city again) nope
In the church praying? nope
Talking to pastors, asking what they plan to do? nope

Where then would I be?
Out, with the people, throwing stones to the cops.

"Bea! That is not christian like!!!"
Maybe, maybe not.

I know it is not what God has in His plan for me. So I know I would be sinning.
But aside from that...
is it a sin to fight for justice with a gun?
I know, you will say it is.

So I will put it like this.
What is worse, to fight for justice with a gun or to pray for peace with total indifference?

Oh, because we do it. We pray for peace...but we are totally indifferent to the poor.

In Bolivia they site the city so food does not go to the rich...the real rich have plenty in store and are not really affected.The idea has been to create awareness of what it is like to lack... most people have only gotten angry at "the indians" whom they would gladly kill without remorse.
Last time I was there I could not sleep thinking of my christian brothers and sisters who had nothing to eat ...nothing; due to the problems El Alto suffered lack too...these people are poor, they cannot store food. They barely make a daily living, impossible to store. so I could not sleep.
But down in our part of the city...people were wearing shorts and taking their dogs out for a walk.
Restaurants were packed.
Chrisitans were there, having fun...maybe discussing a bit of politics but that was the only change.

Indifference. THAT is sin.
Years back there was a strong protest movement, it affected music to. There was a song that said:
"I only ask God one thing, that He will not let me become indifferent to the pain of my people."

I am glad I am not in Bolivia now. I would have lost everything...
but perhaps I would have found peace.
That peace that comes when you know you have not remained indifferent.
Peace that comes from bleeding with the poor.
Peace that comes from having stated with your own life "GOD disagrees with all this injustice!"

It will be years before I find such peace again...It is hard to follow God, to obey His command, to agree with His plan.
I struggle to get focused in the future, like Jesus did "for the joy that lays ahead" for much more than a day's fight....for much more. for much more.

I am glad I am not in Bolivia now.
I would have lost everything...even the justice I long to see.