writing

I stand here and look back. I blush. I know God is looking at me with a teasing look. I know He knows my thoughts. I blush, and pretend I don´t notice His teasing eyes.
When I started to write "these letters" my intention was to write news letters. The kind of letters missionary send to keep supporters posted, and to encourage financial support.
But every time I sat at the computer God would say: "please, don´t write that, be honest, be cristal clear"
It was hard. To begin with I new nobody would become my financial supporter, because I often sounded confused...ja ja ja!!! I now laugh...
But it was also embarrasing, and it still is. Talking about my pain, weakness, confusion, fear, anger, questions...and even about the guy that I like!!! agghhh!!!!
And on top of it, I now have to write in a blog!!! YIKES!!!! I think I took this step kind of hoping that nobody would continue reading...ji ji ji.
You know it is different, you wouldn´t have my letters in your mail box and you would have to make a special effort and time to read a blog...so maybe...
but no. You guys are still reading. Honestly I am glad. I promise. You are my friends.
But I was blushing because way back there when I didn´t understand but obeyed by writing what was in my heart I had no idea of what I would harvest.
And the recent letters I have got have made it worthwhile. Open letters, sincere and honest: crystal clear letters....WOW.
I think that the right way of naming my harvest is: friends. People who are now miles away, but are so close to my heart. And me to theirs!!!
I never got financial support from my writings, but I got FRIENDS! WOW!!!!
How good it is to obey.
How small our ways. How blind our eyes.
Me worried of becoming a fool,
God preparing a harvest of friends FOR ME!!!
HOW GOOD IT IS TO OBEY!!!!!