thinking out loud
I have been gone for a year. I was away, having a one to one talk with God. I come back and it is so good to meet with people I hadn´t had nearby all this time. We pick up our relationship once more.
I wasn´t aware of all the changes I have gone through, now they become more evident. I should actually be leaping joyfully. But I am not. I am overwhelmed and a bit downhearted. I just want to share...
So, I am back...but I am not the same person people once met. I begin to understand the hard road that lays ahead of me.
In some ways, I am the same. My friends will only have to sit down and look deep into my eyes, and they will find me there.
But I am very different now. I understand justice in a clearer way. I understand the importance of order and obedience. I understand the need for holiness. Not only to bring forth a revival. Just to be acceptable before God, and to gain access into the abundant life Jesus bought for us on that cross.
This brings a certain fire into my eyes and into my words.
I hadn´t noticed before...because I hadn't spoken to many before.
Bluntness, straighforwardness, clear ideas: this is wrong- stop.
I now wonder what it will be like for me in the future. I have a feeling it won't be easy. I am not scared of the difficulties. But I am deeply bothered by the same question again:
"God, what you have placed in my hands is a large task, Will I be able to carry it out?"
Have you studied Josaphat? on the margin of my Bible I wrote my description of him.
JOSAPHAT a man that:
- searched for God with all of his heart
-heard the prophet and changed
- studied the Bible
- humbled himself before God.
- AND took his people to all of the above.
Will I be able to take "my" people to all of the above?
Will I be able to take "my" children to:
search for God with all their heart
hear the prophet and change
study the Bible
humble themselves before God
Why am I overwhelmed by the challenge?
Because I now understand the nature of sin. I understand the deep roots of stubborness and rebellion that abide within us. And how these rise like huge monsters to devore anyone who might dare hint that they should be killed.
I have a lot to learn.
I am overwhelmed.
I wasn´t aware of all the changes I have gone through, now they become more evident. I should actually be leaping joyfully. But I am not. I am overwhelmed and a bit downhearted. I just want to share...
So, I am back...but I am not the same person people once met. I begin to understand the hard road that lays ahead of me.
In some ways, I am the same. My friends will only have to sit down and look deep into my eyes, and they will find me there.
But I am very different now. I understand justice in a clearer way. I understand the importance of order and obedience. I understand the need for holiness. Not only to bring forth a revival. Just to be acceptable before God, and to gain access into the abundant life Jesus bought for us on that cross.
This brings a certain fire into my eyes and into my words.
I hadn´t noticed before...because I hadn't spoken to many before.
Bluntness, straighforwardness, clear ideas: this is wrong- stop.
I now wonder what it will be like for me in the future. I have a feeling it won't be easy. I am not scared of the difficulties. But I am deeply bothered by the same question again:
"God, what you have placed in my hands is a large task, Will I be able to carry it out?"
Have you studied Josaphat? on the margin of my Bible I wrote my description of him.
JOSAPHAT a man that:
- searched for God with all of his heart
-heard the prophet and changed
- studied the Bible
- humbled himself before God.
- AND took his people to all of the above.
Will I be able to take "my" people to all of the above?
Will I be able to take "my" children to:
search for God with all their heart
hear the prophet and change
study the Bible
humble themselves before God
Why am I overwhelmed by the challenge?
Because I now understand the nature of sin. I understand the deep roots of stubborness and rebellion that abide within us. And how these rise like huge monsters to devore anyone who might dare hint that they should be killed.
I have a lot to learn.
I am overwhelmed.
posted by thisfool @ 9:27 AM
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