the last day

today is the last day of the 40 days.
I did not know what would happen in me during this time.
Yes, I know that now is time to kind of step out. We (God and I) have talked on many details so I will not lose my way as I move out.
But today I know it will be hard.
Last time I was with a group of believers in close relationship, we were literally breathing clouds. It was a most awesome time and extremelly difficult time to describe.

I think part of me had hoped that when the time to move on would come, I would be directly placed in such a season again. I was wrong. No such thing. A dry desert lays ahead.
It will be hard to go to the mission conference and try to stay focused. whithout killing anybody and without crying in public "for no reason at all"

I now wish this time did not have to end.
I believe God wants me to stir hearts out there. And I do not want to speak anything that sounds like I do not believe Him, so I will remain silent.

All I can add is that I do believe I am prepared, despite the fact that in a way I truly wish this time had not come to an end.