wasting time???
Every time I think that next time God asks me to do something I will be able to obey Him without argueing, He asks me to do something that takes me by total surprise...and sadly enough my reaction continues to be: WHAT!!!!!
Inside of me I really hope that the time comes when I trust Him so much that I will be able to get up and obey, without questioning Him one single bit.
God had told me that after that special retreat time, I would get out of the ark and there would be solid ground, AND there would be a path to follow. "Bea, make sure you follow that path"
I was sure He was talking about the church I should join or the ministry I should undertake. I was certain that I was going to be able to obey without any questioning.
Little did I know that the path was: "Go to your mom´s house in Mexico, and leave your kids behind."
How do you obey, without questioning THAT?
Out of grace. Out of mercy.
"Lord, I want to obey...but I can´t, you must send an angel to help me out". He did, he sent a small, but special group of people that made my obedience possible. I owe them my life. May God pay them back abundantly, abundantly.
The pain of not having my boys near is impossible to describe, but I know that due to my obedience we will all have life. As I chat with them, I often think "when did my boy grow into a man?"
And then there is my mom. I am glad to be home. I am driving everybody crazy...but I am glad to be home.
My cousin called me yesterday. "So are you working? You should. That way you could have traveled now that we have 2 weeks off"
So hard to make him understand. "you know what,I believe in following God´s steps. If He is not moving, then I don´t move."
"Bea, you are no longer young, if you don´t get a job soon, well it will be harder for you to get one later. You are wasting precious time"
So hard to make my family and friends understand that I don´t worry about time, since I have realized that I am eternal. And that God has an eternal plan. My life goes beyond the retirement plan.
"Bea, you have been here since October...have you contacted your friends?"
So hard to make people understand that I know God has a secret plan, and eventhough I can´t see all the details. I know that this is perfect.
To many my staying in the house, painting the house, changing windows, doing repairs, fixing the garden... is a total waste. For me it is plan of a perfect plan.
"Bea, mom doesn´t like change" my little sister said, after my silence she added: "I guess she is in for a surprise"
So hard to make her understand that part of that perfect plan is to be a daughter.
In our modern world. Family seems an insult, a chain. And yet if we sit by God, He suddenly shows us family pictures. The grandparents, children and grandchildren...all together. In order, in stability, providing roots for the younger ones.
Old parents are forsaken, pushed aside, insulted and rejected. Well, not only old parents, parents in general are now rejected. We have all kinds of excuses and resons for excusing our attitudes. But then there is that verse:
Honor your parents.
So, here I am learning to do precisely that.
In many ways leading a boring life: washing windows, cutting the grass, cleaning the fridge, and taking out the trash. Hard to make anyone understand the perfection of this plan.
Why do I know this is glorifying God?
This morning mom asked her friend for brunch. I helped to get things ready. As I asked about the dishes she would like to use, she lowered her voice and said "ones that I haven´t used in years...the beige."
This has been a common phrase these months. So many things, totally forgotten, because she had lost physical strenght and maybe something else, and needed somebody to gently say "I will take them dishes out and wash them now."
"Bea, you are wasting your time."
Honoring my mom, a waste of time???
No my friend. No, I am not wasting my time.
I am obeying God. I am honoring my mom.
Only to see her the way she is now, has made this all worthwhile. Only to see the changes in me, has made the pain worthwhile. Only to see what is happening in our relationship, has made the strain worthwhile.
But let me tell you one more thing:
God has made it clear that
when we obey Him...
HE IS OUR REWARD.
All of this...is just part of a perfect plan.
Inside of me I really hope that the time comes when I trust Him so much that I will be able to get up and obey, without questioning Him one single bit.
God had told me that after that special retreat time, I would get out of the ark and there would be solid ground, AND there would be a path to follow. "Bea, make sure you follow that path"
I was sure He was talking about the church I should join or the ministry I should undertake. I was certain that I was going to be able to obey without any questioning.
Little did I know that the path was: "Go to your mom´s house in Mexico, and leave your kids behind."
How do you obey, without questioning THAT?
Out of grace. Out of mercy.
"Lord, I want to obey...but I can´t, you must send an angel to help me out". He did, he sent a small, but special group of people that made my obedience possible. I owe them my life. May God pay them back abundantly, abundantly.
The pain of not having my boys near is impossible to describe, but I know that due to my obedience we will all have life. As I chat with them, I often think "when did my boy grow into a man?"
And then there is my mom. I am glad to be home. I am driving everybody crazy...but I am glad to be home.
My cousin called me yesterday. "So are you working? You should. That way you could have traveled now that we have 2 weeks off"
So hard to make him understand. "you know what,I believe in following God´s steps. If He is not moving, then I don´t move."
"Bea, you are no longer young, if you don´t get a job soon, well it will be harder for you to get one later. You are wasting precious time"
So hard to make my family and friends understand that I don´t worry about time, since I have realized that I am eternal. And that God has an eternal plan. My life goes beyond the retirement plan.
"Bea, you have been here since October...have you contacted your friends?"
So hard to make people understand that I know God has a secret plan, and eventhough I can´t see all the details. I know that this is perfect.
To many my staying in the house, painting the house, changing windows, doing repairs, fixing the garden... is a total waste. For me it is plan of a perfect plan.
"Bea, mom doesn´t like change" my little sister said, after my silence she added: "I guess she is in for a surprise"
So hard to make her understand that part of that perfect plan is to be a daughter.
In our modern world. Family seems an insult, a chain. And yet if we sit by God, He suddenly shows us family pictures. The grandparents, children and grandchildren...all together. In order, in stability, providing roots for the younger ones.
Old parents are forsaken, pushed aside, insulted and rejected. Well, not only old parents, parents in general are now rejected. We have all kinds of excuses and resons for excusing our attitudes. But then there is that verse:
Honor your parents.
So, here I am learning to do precisely that.
In many ways leading a boring life: washing windows, cutting the grass, cleaning the fridge, and taking out the trash. Hard to make anyone understand the perfection of this plan.
Why do I know this is glorifying God?
This morning mom asked her friend for brunch. I helped to get things ready. As I asked about the dishes she would like to use, she lowered her voice and said "ones that I haven´t used in years...the beige."
This has been a common phrase these months. So many things, totally forgotten, because she had lost physical strenght and maybe something else, and needed somebody to gently say "I will take them dishes out and wash them now."
"Bea, you are wasting your time."
Honoring my mom, a waste of time???
No my friend. No, I am not wasting my time.
I am obeying God. I am honoring my mom.
Only to see her the way she is now, has made this all worthwhile. Only to see the changes in me, has made the pain worthwhile. Only to see what is happening in our relationship, has made the strain worthwhile.
But let me tell you one more thing:
God has made it clear that
when we obey Him...
HE IS OUR REWARD.
All of this...is just part of a perfect plan.
posted by thisfool @ 9:41 AM
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