not impulsive

"You are not impulsive" Those were the words with which God woke me up today. I opened my ears... "Bea, think- impulsive means to do something without much thought. How long have you been thinking on Norway?" I started to get a warm feeling inside, I like it when God talks to me like this- gentle, kind and with a twinkle in His eyes. I thought it was when I took my first missionary trip to the jungle and then discovered that the missionaries who had worked in that area where from Norway. "nope...think again, it was before that" Before? Well, I do remember studing about the laponians and liking their coats when I was just a child...but I ...."Lord, I give up...when did you seriously begin to talk to me about Norway?" "Helge Adolfsen" BANG my mind opened and so many things became so clear..so easy to understand!!! idea after idea started to match up and suddenly the picture was very clear. Yes, that pastor and his wife had always stirred my heart. I was never allowed to become part of their congregation. But I always enjoyed the times when I heard him preach and on some occations we got to share a bit. It was such a little tiny bit that you may wonder why I would feel so close to them. Now I understand. THEY WERE FROM NORWAY. I bet a lot of people will say "I think you are exagerating on this Norway bit...yes they are nice...but..." No, I know that I know that they are different. They have an inheritance that makes them different. They do not know it themselves...at least most don't. I remember the first time that I saw Helge. I was in the church's offices doing a translation. He walks in and my spirit was stirred. Like when Mary went to visit Elizabeth and Elizabeth says "the baby in my womb jumped as you drew near." Same story. My spirit knew something that I did not know. And then whenever I got to talk to them, I felt the same. Once there was this breakfast where many pastors were invited to go. And I got to sit at their table!!!! I felt so priviledged. They were with two other people from Norway so they would speak Norwegian and I just sat there and drank from the atmosphere. I did not understand why I was so attracted to these people. Now I understand. By the way, later on I found out that they were some of the missionaries that had worked on the River Beni, the place in the jungle that I visited. They had worked there for many years while they were young, but had to leave once they got older. "Do you now understand that you are not impulsive? Bea Gasca I have been stirring your heart for this country for more than eight years. In fact if you ask me...my child you are kind of slow." smile. He is right, I have been slow and stubborn and blind. Now I understand why He kept saying NO. All those projects that He did not allow me to plan. People pressuring me to come up with a plan..."give us a plan so we can support you!" God simply saying NO. It seemed like pure madness then...it was never madness. His plans were others, plans which I myself at the present do not fully understand. but I am filled with this strong and powerful sense that what He has in mind is awesome- way beyond my imagination (and I do have a good imagination) Wow... I look back at the time when I wanted to build my house in the jungle. God said NO. I cried so much. I did not understand...I did not understand...I simply did not understand that His ways are higher than ours. Now He calls me slow. and I am filled with the assurance that night is almost over, soon it will be dawn and there will be a day ahead for me to live...in Norway.