first mission

Today I received an invitation from God to go out on a mission.
so it has been a long day. All kinds of thoughts and emotions filled my day.
Forgiveness, I feel a shower of forgiveness just raining on me, washing away guilt...rain, longed for rain, awaited rain of forgiveness...
Then there has been fear. I see this will be my biggest enemy again. This time it is not fear of not having heard God. That part is clear, I know His voice. But my enemy is going to be fear of failing again, of hurting those who I want to bless. Of hurting innocent ones, that are waiting for relief and such relief being postponed because of my mistakes. Big enemy.
There is also excitement. The excitement of seeing dear people to encourage their faith.
And there is strong expectation of what is to come after the mission is completed. For as I was praying the spiritual garment I got (Zana, you will love this...) was that of an indian scout. Moccasins and all!!! What does this mean? It means that I am going out to explore...SO I CAN TELL OTHERS THE WAY TO GO!
Being a scout is hard, but I know I have what it takes to do that part of the job. I am not scared to go alone. And I am excited about the part of later being used to guide "the whole tribe" to the land God has in mind. I am especially excited about this last part because I have been without a congregation for the past year...and it is starting to get kind of lonely ;)
Our God is an awesome God! He has a perfect plan.
Please keep me in your prayers. It is walking on the waters time!
I am most thankful to God, most thankful ...
as I was talking to Him on my fear He whispered:
"Do not fear little one, you have been fully equipped, come, just FOLLOW ME."

You guys...God loves me enough to want me to walk with Him once more.
This truth is hard to believe ...but it is sinking in...